Cosmo BDSM tips part II of II

Let Him take Control
 
This Saturday, we are going to review the next set of BDSM Tips inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey.  The second set of 26 tips are under Let Him take Control.  The original article is located in August 2012 Cosmo Article. The categories will be a bit different than the Dominate Him. There are actually a bit more kinky ones for these.  Just goes to show, women want to submit more but only when they call tell the guy what to do.  O_o  No wonder men are confused about women.


Mild and every day sex

1. Strap one of his belts across your waist, and let him hold on to it like a leash. This is kind of fun.  But really, the belt is supposed to be used across her ass for a good strapping. 

2. Tell him to pinch (or use a clothespins) your erect nipples. This pinching is pretty standard.  The clothes pins, now that is moving to kinky.  May I recommend a zip line? 

17. Have him use a ruler to lightly tap your inner thigh as he's going down on you.  Is this sexy?  Is this something fun?  Really smack it!

19. Tell him to grab the bottom of your tee shirt and pull over your head.  Use it to restrain your arms. Sexy fun!  So what happens next?  That's it?  Does he now bend her over for some anal fun?

21. Did you know that one nipple is more sensitive than another...Is this supposed to be sexy?  How does this relate to kinky sex?  


23. Give him a ice cube to hold against your nipple until...  I'm starting to wonder if I'm kinkier than I thought.  Doesn't everyone use ice cubes in sex?  On the nipples, in orifices, on balls, on a dick...I think it's only kinky if frozen grapes are being shoved into the ass and then sucked out by your lover.


Roleplaying Fun

3. Lie across an ottoman and tell him "Professor Wankerton, I've been bad and need a spanking. To really kink it up, let's add a paddle, hairbrush and a tawse.  What about the secretary?  How about a naughty nurse?  Cop and robbers?  This is the only one in the list?


Kinky Fun!

4. Use two sets of novelty handcuffs to bind your ankles to the bed. Tell him your his prisoner and his the pervy guard. This is great.  Hopefully he's got the latex gloves ready for the cavity search.  Fisting, here we come!  Remember, dig deep to find any contrabands in her ass and pussy.

7. Using ouch-free tape and let him bind your to the walls or the bed. BD is always fun.  What's with the ouch-free tape?  If there isn't a little pain, how is it fun?

8. Introduce him to a tracing wheel and have him run it on your clitoris.  Or just give him a
Wartenburg Pinwheel. It's only eight dollars.  Now this can be run all over her body while she is tied down.  That's how it's done, kinky style.

10. Instruct him to wrap your chest and torso in plastic wrap. Mummification is pretty hot, literally and figuratively. 

13. Have him use his tie to gag you. Okay, what's with the "it's soft and won't hurt you"?  The point is to not hear her nagging and whiny.  Save a tie, buy a ball gag.

14. Buy a remote control vibrator and slip it into your underwear before dinner - give him the controller.  This is cool.  The remote ones aren't too durable though.  Use it as much as possible before it breaks.

18. Have him create a homemade whip.  This is kind of kinky.  But with a hand towel?  What is this?  How about suede leather shoestrings?  This would be better.

22. Walk, no, haul ass over to the kitchen-supply aisle... Pastry brush is kind of kinky.  The kitchen aisle is a wonderful place to buy kinky tools.  Spatulas are good for spanking.  Pastry wheels, rolling pins, turkey basters, knives, wooden cheese boards, saran wrap, Popsicle molds and cheese cloths.  There are probably ones I'm missing. 
 

Confusion on who's in charge

5. In the shower, get him to shave your legs for you.  This should have been in Dominate Him section. 

6. Lie in bed with your legs closed and challenge him to open up your legs.  This is also part of Dominate Him section.  Telling him what to do?  If he was really in charge, he'd tie up her legs, bend her over the bed and ride her to his delight while she is wearing a gag.  Because the last thing he wants is listening to her commands.

9. Give him a pair of exfoliating gloves and tell him run it all over your body. While this is kinky, she's still confused as to who is running the show.  FYI, it's called a vampire glove.  $30.

12. Tell him to slap your ass right as you climax. Once again, what's with the telling?  Is he the boss or is she? Ask him to slap your ass.  It's all about asking, not telling.

25. When he's going down on you, he should stop before you orgasm. Yes, it's what we call edging.  It's best when tied down, blindfolded and tortured for hours.  

WTFery

11. Put a bunch of loose change in the freezer for an hour.  Tell him to slick your vulva with warming lube then cover it with the cold coins (outside only). What is this?  Seriously, this is a joke right?  Because we all want filthy dirty coins on our pussy lips.  And what's with the vulva?  I bet you many women and men have no idea where the vulva is located.  To do it right, use cleaned (boil them and then let them cool down) iron chains that are icy cold from the freezer and then stick it up her pussy.  Now THAT is kinky fun.  If you want heat versus cold, hot wax is the way to go.

15. Get him to wrap your wrists and ankles in toilet paper.  What?  I'm sorry, wrapped in toilet paper and have him tease her until she can't take it anymore and then she burst out of the restraints. Right, any little wiggling and the toilet paper will rip apart.  It's also kind of funny rather than sexy.

I think it would be better if he did this instead. DOH!  That's the other section again.





  

16. Ask him to trail your pointiest stiletto down the length of your chest and abdomen, stopping short of your pubic mound. Huh.  What is this?  Is this supposed to be kinky?  Is this Cosmo's understanding of knife play?  And did you see, in this one, it's "Asking" not "Telling".  At least they have that part right.

20. Let him run an electric toothbrush between your toes for foreplay.  I'm scratching my head on this one.  Why would you want it on your toes?  Wouldn't you want it on your nipples?  I guess this is good for people who have a foot fetish.  Or he's trying to tell her she has dirty feet.

24. Property of [his name] on your underwear before you leave for work. I don't think so.  Is she going off to summer camp?  Is she afraid someone is going to steal her panties?  This is kinky?  This isn't even embarrassing or humiliating (which can be fun).  This is lame.  If she really want to get her kink on, have it written on her ASS.  Another popular place is above the pussy or across the tits.  One of the hotter SM temp name is when it's imprinted by a hard smack to the butt from a paddle with the word raised. 

26. Have him lay you down on top of a piece of clothing that's embellished with studs. It's uncomfortable and what exactly are we going to get out of this?  Is this a kid's game?  Because he can flip you over and use a magic marker to connect the dots. 

Really, most of these will have the guy laughing his ass off while trying very hard to keep a straight face.  I read each of these tips to my spouse.  He wasn't aroused at all.  I think Cosmo missed the point of Kinky BDSM sex.  It's to arouse and get it on.  FAIL.

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