Review: Butt Pirates in Space
Butt Pirates in Space by Kiernan Kelly
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Spaceballs meet m/m porn with geeky science fiction references is how BUTT PIRATES IN SPACE comes across. Granted, with a title like this, a reader should fully expect some cheesy humor. This anthology does not disappoint. It is filled with odd ball, sometimes juvenile, sense of humor.
There are five stories in this book. "What to Expect When Your Boyfriend is Expecting" by Shae Connor, "Spacehunters" by Kage Alan, "B'Utopia" by Kiernan Kelly, "Free Gift with Purchase" by TC Blue and "Pride of the Rangers" by Angela Sparrow. The stories are placed in just the right order. Shae Connor opens the book with a decent and easily understandable science fiction story. Ms. Sparrow ends the book with an erotic little number involving a hint of ageplay, puppy play and sex toy slavery.
The other three stories, specifically "Spacehunters" are off the wall. The dialogue in "Spacehunters" is all over the place. It's a hot mess with rapidly changing point of views between the two characters, who are indistinguishable even if one has a grandmother trying to kill off the second character. The dialogue between the two characters can easily induce a migraine for those who are not susceptible to headaches. The two males bicker with each other like rabid Chihuahuas on speed. There is a plot to this confusing story but it seems as if the author kept it a secret rather than share it with the readers. For those who don't have any experience in TV science fiction shows, specifically STNG, some of the references will make no sense.
"B'Utpoia" is a thinly veiled jab at Walmart is my best guess. It's a bit bizarre yet still amusing. One phrase caught my eye early on in the story, "accompanied by a thick hunk of fresh-baked, grainy bread only slightly moldy at the edges" (p. 98). Which is it? Is the bread freshly baked? If so, why would it be moldy? Or is it really not a freshly baked bread which is why there is some mold? It's little things like this which make this book a bit illogical.
"Free Gift with Purchase" is also a decent read. The first several chapters did nothing for me. It did get better once Valmark became self-actualized. Apparently this is due to the influx of sperm in his starhole. My favorite line in this story is "Holy Lady-boys, the male's starhole was tighter than Kwarkian purse strings" (p. 161). Who are the Kwarkians? Through context clues, I would say they are stingy bastards so it is irrelevant if I miss the reference. But it does feel as though this book is definitely not written for me. I am apparently a light geek, not worthy of this obscure geekdom book. While I did understand the reference to the much-loved series by Douglas Adams, that was about as good as it gets.
My favorite is, to no surprise, Ms. Sparrow's tale because it involves some erotic sex which requires anal fisting in order to take the evil villain's ginormous dick. This over the top writing did make me shake my head several times and roll my eyes. Still, the kinky sex makes up for a lot.
This book is recommended to geeks who love anal sex and the Big Bang Theory.
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