30 Days of Kink Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

For me, the most glaring difference is the Dominant who isn't perfect and a mind reader.  In the books, it's usually pretty fantastic.  The Dominant leads and does the best for his sub.  He knows everything and does some pretty wild things to push the sub's limits.  In my experience, I don't have this.  I don't have a Dominant which is probably the first of my problems.

What is also different is that in the stories, there is very little prep for scenes.  In real life, it seems like a lot of prep work for wax play and fire play.  Even anal play for me seems to take a lot of prep. 

The other thing is a personal dungeon.  I don't have a large home, but it isn't that small either.  Still, I don't have room for a personal dungeon with all sorts of toys.  I wish I could have a room like this.  Then again, what would I do with a dungeon?  Play with myself?  Where is the fun in this?