Sensual Sadist

What is a sensual sadist? How does this work? Doesn't a sadist only give pain? I've read in some books which argue there is no such thing as a sensual sadist and they don't like that phrase at all.

I have had the pleasure of attending a class from a self titled, Sensual Sadist. Here are my notes from the class. Any mistakes are due to me as a note taker, not the presenter.

The presenter in the class was Haven. He's a second generation Dom. His parents are in the lifestyle and lived it as he was growing up in the household.

Haven was an extremely dynamic presenter who kept the class captivated. He was well spoken and based on his work at Renaissance Faires, I'm not surprised. Haven is on fetlife. He also has a blog which he adds to here and there - Kinky as I am.

What does it mean to be a sensual sadist?

For Haven, it means two parts.

1. More senses than just touch. Toys can be used to caress or cause pain.

2. Sensuality side - indulging in pleasure side rather than just the pain.

For example, a sadist could take chains to whip their sub. Or they could use that same chain to pull across the sub's skin after it's been in the freezer all night.

Haven liked to mess with the senses. He gave good examples of what to do to integrate each sense.


Remove the sight for a sub. This can be done through blindfolding. This is the most obvious option. What about standing behind the sub who is tied down? That sub can't see the Dom yet they can still hear the voice and maybe see a shadow projected on the wall in front of them.

When making a point, walk back into the sight of the sub and make direct eye contact. This will have an added effect on the sub.

Another method is his usage of candles. Candles are good for changing the lightening to soften it and also provide interesting shadows.


Who here has ever tried Aromatherapy? There are certain scents in a scene that can also trigger wetness or submissive desires. Think about leather. Smelling warmed up leather. How does one warm it up? Why on the nice ass of a sub and then drag that leather flogger or paddle across the sub's face for them to smell the leather.

Sometimes, Haven uses a bit of cologne sprayed right where his sub lays. It isn't overpowering, but it is a constant reminder of him, right there for her to smell.

Candles are the obvious scent releasing device. Haven cautions the use of too heavy scents which could distract from the scene.


How can taste be involved? The taste of his cock in her mouth as he's forcing it down her throat? The taste of his ass while she's forced to rim him? Well, yes, as a sadist these are fun taste to play with.

Instead, as a sensual sadist, he offers up another choice. Food. How about placing food into the sub's mouth while in a scene? Small bite size pieces would work well.

Fruits are easiest. I have tried this before with watermelon and squeezing the juice of it out into your lover's mouth so they receive a mouthful of watermelon juice. Or how about a piece of chocolate? For some examples in movies, check out this link - Top Ten Food Sex Scenes. Perhaps this will help get your creative food juices flowing.


Haven uses music in his scene because he does have children in the household. The music helps set the movie for him and his sub. When one thinks of sound, we do think of music automatically. He takes it another step further. He uses sound effects. He let us know that there are terrific dungeon sound effects easily found on the internet. He downloads them and creates a playlist to set the scene.

Sometimes, he creates a playlist specifically for his sub and has her listening to it via her mp3 player rather than him streaming it in his dungeon. This allows him to put her in the mood and into subspace while he can work in quiet and keep an ear out for his kids.

Most of all, Haven confessed to a love of mindfucking his sub with the senses. When a person is blindfolded, it is not always easy to tell the difference between hot and cold. He sometimes tells her he's going to burn her and he sticks an iced implement on her instead.

My question for this was, mindfucking with a metal brand. If stuck in the freezer long enough, it will be very cold metal. Tell the sub, "I'm going to brand your ass so everyone knows it's mine". After some play, make sure a fireplace is going or a fire pit with flames is near by for the sub to see. Perhaps leave a brand waiting in the hot flames. Blindfold the sub and then take the iced brand out and stick it on her ass. This will make the sub scream and think they are being branded. Sneaky sensual play, non?

Haven stressed that communication is key for his sensual play. As a Dominant, it's his job to figure out what makes the sub feel sensual. He reminds everyone, basic romance is sensuality.

Sensual sadism is a way for a Dom who doesn't like to be a sadist or inflict pain on his sub to use the usual impact tools in a gentler way. For example, the flogger can be used as a hard impact thud or sting. As an alternative, use it to drag across the body or light swings to generate a light massage. Another reason why Haven likes to use both the hard and soft sides, is the ability to play longer. The breaks help him to relax and give his throwing arm rest.

What are your thoughts?

Is this something you have heard about? Is this something you have experienced? Have you read this in books? Is this something you practice?


How can I get in touch with haven on fetlife interested in his seminar

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