Review: Kiss the Dead

Kiss the Dead (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #21)Kiss the Dead by Laurell K. Hamilton

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Anita is back again and the first police scene, she's wearing some kind of smexy unprofessional nail polish, a short skirt and Mary-Jane style stiletto heels.   Yes, Nathaniel dressed her again and she's looking like stripper rather than a US Marshall.  Guess this is what happens when a 23 year old male stripper picks out her clothes.  One would think she would learn by now.  In case people were confused about what Mary-Jane style stiletto heels look like.

Within the first 83 pages

1. Anita's already been called a monster
2. She's shorter than every person
3. Her fuck buddies boyfriends have been mentioned
4. Another old friend has turned on her a called her a pet monster
5. She loses another friend

This book based on "vampire slayer" plot was heading to a one star rating.

1.  New set of vampires with the same formula as the Church of Eternal Life avoiding the blood oath

2. New villain is old and more powerful than Jean-Claude in the way that he can't be detected.  Yet the villain never once appears in the book.  He's only mentioned and then moves on his way.  W.T.F?

3.  I don't go to a therapist and I'm not a shrink.  Why the hell would I want to read a 359 page book where the majority of it is spent on relationship therapy in some fucked up style?  Seriously, when will the focus stop on fucked up relationships and each boy's drama?  Is this some kind of trashy reality show?

4.  Asher becomes a passive aggressive jealous abusive whiny bitch.

5.  Where did Wicked and Truth go?

6.  Again?  Why do we have to go into the age issue again?  She's fucking a 18 year old and she's 30.  She doesn't like to be a cougar.  I guess she's not into the Mommy Kink.  She can't go to parent/teacher conferences and still screw Sin's (Cynric) brains out.

7.  Vomiting of repeat world building.  Kitty pile this time, how her strength is because of marks, her necro powers, her lovers emotional issue, blah blah blah blah blah.  She over informs on information everyone who's reading the series already knows.  Sloppy editing is what this is.  This new editor, Missy, LKH thanks in the acknowledgements better step up her game. At this point in the series, there are no new readers, it's all the same ones who have been reading the series from the beginning.  We don't need the repetition.

8. For a woman who keeps telling the readers how much like a guy she thinks, Anita sure doesn't demonstrate it.  The stuff going on inside Anita's head is all female.  Guys don't think like this.  The guys in this book don't count because most of them all behave like hysterical high maintenance females that EVERYONE wants to avoid.  All they are good for is a good fuck because of how they look.  Personality wise, who the hell has time to keep up with their drama? 

9. Brice is introduced and dives straight into questions for Anita and she just spills her relationship information?  WTF.  Not believable.

So, I tossed out the plot and any type of writing style rating and went instead with what I enjoyed.  PORN GLORIOUS PORN!  WOOT!

1.  Anita is GAY FOR YOU!  WOOT, she's now getting a little something from a hot little Chinese number - Black Jade.  YES!  (I'm Chinese so this is happy happy dance for me.)  Yet, there isn't a freaking f/f sex scene, just a "mention" of it.  BOO! (cock tease slut)

2. Come on, cougar time, seriously, fuck the 18 year old already.  He wants it.  He's legal and Anita want his sexy little ass.  The teasing kiss is just that, teasing.

3. This book is more about the difficulties of a poly relationship.  We learn all sorts of fun terminology.  For those who are vanilla and monogamous, it's educational. For those of us who are kinky..."yawn". 

4. The shower scene with Nicky.  Woot.  That was pretty hawt.  Erotic asphyxiation through deep-throating is always a plus.

5. Micah, Nathaniel and Anita banging it at home.

6. Implied Dom behaviours from Asher to Anita's submissive ones.  But they are never shown or demonstrated so it's all just a cock tease again.

Actually, the sex in this book was kind of few and far between and not really that intense.  So, this is really a 2 star for the porn part.  The only reason why it gets a 3 star is because Anita is now fucking a Chinese female tiger.  What can I say?  I'm bias.  Recommended for readers who want to read about poly relationships that work and ones that are a train wreck. 

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