Rough Body Play Part I
Rough Body Play (RBP) is when we use our own body to illicit responses from our bottom or submissive. In this session, we will not use any external implements. For simplicity sake, I will use Top and Dom/me interchangeably here. I will also use bottom and submissive interchangeably. I will refer to the bottom as a she and a Top most likely a he.
RBP will require negotiation and questions up front. It will be different between new play partner and familiar ones. For example, when it is a familiar or frequent play partner here are a couple of questions to ask.
1. Anything changed since we last played?
2. Anything happened recently which is causing a part of your body to hurt?
New Play partner
This will generally require a lot more discussion and/or negotiation.
1. Clarify terms first
By this, I mean, make sure you both mean the same thing. For example, I could say, I will allow you to hit me. I'm expecting an open hand slap. My Dom on the other hand considers hitting a closed fist punch. These are two very different sensations.
2. Discuss limits in the connect of parameters
For something like RBP, it is open to interpretation. Instead of listing everything that is a soft or hard limit, it would be easier to list what is allowed for this scene. For example, if I say I don't like being slapped in the face and that's my hard limit and anything else goes, I may be in for a rude awaking when I'm kicked in the pussy. (Yes, there is kicking to the pussy. I saw it and yes I did wince and cross my legs even though the demo bottom was purring loudly.)
3. Talk about physical limitations
Are there any recent surgery or injuries? If so, it may be easier to take a sharpie and mark off parts that are off limits. Because in the heat of the moment, one doesn't easily identify left versus right calf. (And this is where my DH goes - "I can't tell my right from my left" or "wait, my right or your right?") Another method is to just cover the area that is off limits.
4. Discuss medications taken
This is more than just - are you on meds? We need to take it one step further. We need to ask, does this medication need to be immediately taken and under what circumstances? If so, where is it located? For example, if a person has asthma, RBP is still possible. However, if a person were to have an attack, where is their inhaler? It should be somewhere close by, not at the bottom of a bag across the room. Other examples are EPI pens and heart medication.
WAIT WAIT WAIT Did you say heart medication? Yes. I did. Just because a person has medical conditions, it doesn't mean they can't experience a scene. More caution and parameters need to be set to ensure a safe and enjoyable scene. Hence the up front discussion of these delicate matters.
SETTING UP THE PLAY SPACE
YAY! Negotiation is OVER! Let's play! Not so fast, my friends. It is also important to define your play space.
How to define your place space
This will depend on if you are at a club, at a convention, at a private play party or at home. We need to take into consideration these factors:
1. Safe area for players and other people.
What this means is we need to define the area that we will stay within. Think of it like a wrestling mat. As soon as we are outside the line, we should cease activity. This boundary also helps others know where your play space is so that they don't accidentally interrupt your play. For example, at a public place, there are many others also wandering around. If they don't know where you are playing, there is a chance they might bump into the Top who knocks the bottom harder than expected. This takes the two out of their happy play time. Or a Top and bottom think that a person just wandering by wants to get in on the action so they bring the person into their play space.
In the class I attended, the Top clearly stated, if anyone touched his play space, he considers it consent. One could argue that we didn't negotiate. His rules; his limits. Now this isn't how everyone plays, but it is a possibility. Better to be safe than sorry.
Now let's talk about a private home. Sure there may not be other people around, but there are other objects around. Be aware of your environment. What if there is a lamp near by? Or the TV? What valuable art work is hanging from the walls that could be knocked off? These are things to consider.
2. Are there pets around?
You laugh. But it's no laughing matter when a Top and bottom are wrestling or RBP-ing and the bottom's dog thinks she's being attacked? The dog attacks the Top. Or the dog thinks the Top is being harmed and attacks the bottom? With cats…well, they may just join in the fun or spend a creepy amount of time watching. I personally find cats to be the ultimate voyeurs.
How do I define the play space?
1. Bed sheets or blankets on the ground as a "mat"
2. Chairs at the corners to "section off"
3. Rubber maps purchased at hardware stores or warehouses like Costco
Rough Body Play Part II