Swinging Sexy Interview

Today I'd like to welcome my two guests, I'm a Voracious Reader (IaVR) and Chowhound88.  I invited this husband and wife duo to share some of their swinging experiences.  Many people believe swinging and BDSM are synonymous.  This is not the case.  There are some overlaps.  The overlaps are when a BDSM couple are also polyamorous.  For the purpose of this interview, we are sticking to the term swinging without BDSM.

BookAddict: Let's start off with how the two of you define Swinging.

Chowhound88: Swinging is sex outside of marriage, whatever form the sex entails, and the spouse knows about it.

I’m a Voracious Reader: I say swinging is having sex with someone other than your significant other (SO) and your SO has full knowledge and approval of it otherwise it's cheating.

BookAddict: When you swing, do you do it together?  Or do you go off and do your own thing with the person who want to swing with?

Chowhound88: We've never done anything without the other's knowledge or permission. Once the playing starts one of us may wander off and come back, such as when IaVR has to go to the bathroom or get something to drink.

I’m a Voracious Reader: What we don't do is make playdates where one of us is playing without the other. We're both present, but may not be in the same room at the same time. Like at a house party where Chowhound88 may be playing and I'm watching, but then I need a bathroom break and get waylaid by conversation before I get back to watch. I know who he's playing with, but I may not necessarily be in the same room the whole time.

BookAddict: How do you decide what is allowed?  For example, do you talk about what kind of penetration is allowed?  Are you allowed to kiss others on the lips?  Basically, is there something you reserve which is only for the two of you?

I’m a Voracious Reader: We discussed perimeters before playing. What we fantasized about, what our expectations were and what types of play and which people to play with were acceptable to us both.

Chowhound88: We talked about it beforehand. I need to have everything spelled out (no winging it), so we revisit the rules before we head out to play. Kissing is acceptable and I'm allowed to fuck whoever I want in whatever way I can as long as it's a person that IaVR has ok'd.

I’m a Voracious Reader: That's correct, thank you honey. :) As we've explored swinging and been exposed to BDSM, I've come to the conclusion I'm a Domme that likes role play and voyeurism, so I enjoy watching Chowhound88 play with others.  Sometime I even join in if the mood strikes me, but I don't accept people touching my boobs or pussy. And I have a no fucking Me rule. So, no penetration for me, but Chowhound88 can penetrate at will. lol

Chowhound88: *big grin*

I’m a Voracious Reader: I guess that means that my pussy is reserved for just us. *winks*

BookAddict: When you are with another person, it's more than just sex, right?  Or is it not?  I mean, do you get intimate with discussions or is it all about the physical sensation?

I’m a Voracious Reader: It depends on the person. We've met up with a bi male sub that is just about sex. The people we play with at the house parties are those we've formed friendships with, so it's a bit more than just sex.

Chowhound88: That's correct.

BookAddict: What misconceptions of swinging have you encountered?

I’m a Voracious Reader: We haven't told anyone we know about our swinging, so I can only say that in general I get that people think it's cheating.

Chowhound88: I told a co-worker and his initial reaction was shocked. He thought I was fucking with him. But as I told him more, you know, bits here and there, he was astounded. He couldn't believe IaVR allowed me to fuck other women. He also thought it was full swap, that other guys were doing IaVR, which I think may be a general thing that people think. Instead, there are all types of variations to swinging. We're proof of that. :)

BookAddict: What do you like most about swinging?  What do you like least?

Chowhound88: Being around and participating in Live Porn. *big grin* As for least...guys thinking they can just walk up and fondle IaVR, or any woman really, without asking permission or even bothering to find out a person's/couples rules.

I’m a Voracious Reader: LOL I like the chance at fulfilling some of my fantasies. Though the Live Porn is awesome, too. *laughs* I agree with Chowhound88's least like and I'll add that I actively dislike being fondled without being asked. It's common courtesy and it gets a person on our shit list if they don't ask.

BookAddict: If a couple were to start considering swinging, how would you advise them?  What are you top ten lessons learned?

Chowhound88: Communication is key. Go slow, talk, talk, talk about it first and set your boundaries. Chat with people online to get an idea if you'll suit, then meet in a public place for lunch/dinner/coffee before jumping into the sex. Also, if you join an online site such as SLS (http://www.swinglifestyle.com), then you have to weed people out by chatting because a lot of guys would say they're bi (I'm bi).  They might say they'd play with me in the hopes they'd get IaVR's pussy. IaVR had to revise our profile to stop that thinking pretty damn quick.

I’m a Voracious Reader: *rolls eyes* Yeah THOSE guys. *sigh* They think if they suck a cock or let Chowhound88 suck theirs means they get a pussy reward. Uh, no. Not happening.

Chowhound88: Those guys only piss me off. 

I’m a Voracious Reader: Top ten lessons? I don't think we have ten. lol I'd say communication is key. And rules/boundaries aren't set in stone. You can always revise them as you gain experience. As long as they're discussed and agreed on.

Chowhound88: 

1. Communication 

2. Set Rules/Boundaries/Limitations 

3. Respect other people's Rules/Boundaries/Limitations (in other words, don't be an ass) 

4. Don't change rules midplay (table a rule change until after play and you can discuss it) 

5. Don't give into pressure from others 

6. Avoid pushy people

7. Take it slow

8. Don't compromise yourself (in other words, don't take one for the team~ I had sex with that guy's wife, so that guy gets to fuck I’m a Voracious Reader)

9. Avoid being impaired while playing

I’m a Voracious Reader: Wow. Look at Chowhound88 go. I'm impressed! He's the logical one. :) I'll add, don't feel guilty about your Rules. In other words, if the other person/couple knows your Rules, but then wants or expects more than what you stated you would do, don't feel guilty about it. It's like Chowhound88 said. He fucked that guy's wife, so that guy thinks he should get to fuck me, but we already said that wasn't happening. Don't feel guilty or give into pressure. Rules are there for a reason. People who don't respect them aren't worth your valuable time.

BookAddict: Do you worry about STDs?  How do you discuss this with your potential partner?

Chowhound88: No. We don't. And I wear a condom.

I’m a Voracious Reader: Most people state they are DD (drug and disease) free, so we take them at their word and don't ask for a doctor's report. Chowhound88 wears a condom for sex, but I guess we're taking chances with the oral sex. Though we play with people we've come to know, so we're fairly confident in being safe.

*pulls out the saran wrap, blindfold and clothes pins.*

BookAddict: Um, IaVR, what are those for?

I’m a Voracious Reader: Showing is easier than explaining. *Hands saran wrap and blindfold to Chowhound88*

*Chowhound88 steps behind BookAddict and slips the blindfold over her eyes.*

BookAddict: Hey!  I can't see.  We're not done with the interview yet.

Chowhound88: Do you need to see to ask questions or listen?

BookAddict: Well, no, but it's a little strange not seeing you guys.  You aren't going to do anything funny, are you?

I’m a Voracious Reader: Ne-ver.  *rolls eyes and nods at Chowhound88*

Chowhound88:  *Wraps BookAddict's long hair in his fist and pulls her head back and whispers*  What's the next question?

BookAddict: *swallows nervously* Do you have repeat partners?

Chowhound88 & I’m a Voracious Reader: Yes.

I’m a Voracious Reader: *laughs* Yes, we play with some of the same people more than once since we see the same people at the house parties. As far as playdates go, we're still new to that since Chowhound88 works a lot of hours and we have kids still at home. It makes it difficult to get together for a date.

Chowhound88: If it wasn't for house parties we'd probably never get to play. 

*Uses saran wrap to bind BookAddict's right forearm to the chair arm.  Repeats the same with her left arm*

BookAddict: You guys read my mummification post, didn't you?

I’m a Voracious Reader: Maybe.  We'd like to experiment a little before our next play party.  You'll be our little demo bunny, won't you, little girl?

BookAddict: *whimpers* Yes Ma'am.

I’m a Voracious Reader: Honey, unbutton her shirt and free her breasts.

Chowhound88: *Reaches around and unbuttons BookAddict's shirt half way.*  How convenient, she does wear front clasp bras.  *Unhooks the bra and lifts BookAddict's breast out.*

I’m a Voracious Reader: Well look at that.  She does have perfect nipples to clamp.  *Reaches forward and places one clothes pin on each nipple.*  Now let's finish the interview.  Do you think you can manage?

BookAddict: *Slightly woozy and aroused*  Questions?  Oh, yes.  Can you give us an idea of how a swinging party works?  Describe a night at swinging party if you were only an observer.

Chowhound88: Sex! Live Porn! Sex! Jell-O shots!*laughs* Ok, everyone brings food and alcohol/drinks, there's conversation and eating then people start going off to have sex. *Yanks on BookAddict's hair and bites her neck*

BookAddict: *gasp*

I’m a Voracious Reader: *laughs* Yeah, that's about right. We can only describe what ours are like and every party we've been to has been with the same host/hostess, so they tend to follow a pattern. Greetings, food and drinks then head down to the basement where play is allowed.  People gather around the bar for the House Party Rules speech then the music is turned on and people start partying. They drink, dance, do shots, have sex, use the stripper pole, have more sex...this goes on for hours.

As I was saying, clothes come off and can be found all over the place. People change partners, some join with others, others leave and join others...it's truly like watching live porn. Chowhound88 usually plays and I watch, but this last party we went to we cuffed our hostess to a futon and tag teamed her. No fucking, but we licked the shit outta her pussy, pinched her nipples, pulled her hair and I made her suck Chowhound88's cock while I spanked her clit.

Then I left her cuffed to the futon so she'd be helpless against any who wanted to use her (In reality she only had to undo the velcro on the cuffs to get out). And there were several who took advantage of her. She loved it and asked we bring the cuffs back to the next party. So we introduced a little BDSM to the Swinging World. Swinging, in our experience, is very different than the world of BDSM. Swingers are there for sex and some do like it rough. In our group, women demand spankings, hair pulling, etc and they get it because there aren't many Doms/Dommes in our group. I often feel as if our group is puzzled by me. *laughs* Hey, I AM unique! *strikes pose*

*Leans forward and flicks the clothes pins*

BookAddict: Oh!  Mmm, that feels good.  ::Need to concentrate::  Right.  Next question.  What was one of you favourite moments at a swinging party?

I’m a Voracious Reader: Mine was the last party where we tag teamed our hostess. I feel as if I'm finally coming out of my shell and owning my Dommeness. If that makes sense. I didn't take off one article of clothing or experience one orgasm yet I had the best time I've had so far at a party.  I'm getting there. *wide satisfied grin* 

Chowhound88: *Stops biting on BookAddict's neck and looks up*

Where was I?  Ah yes. I have two. At the Bi Party, I 69'd with another guy. Then at another party I played with my first black woman. *smiles while reminiscing*

I’m a Voracious Reader: *Glances at Chowhound* You're leaking aren't you?

Chowhound88: Maaaaaaaaybe.

I’m a Voracious Reader: Sorry, BA. I need to go do something about that. I'll leave the what to your imagination. *winks*

BookAddict: Wait!  What about me?  Who will release me? 

I’m a Voracious Reader: Well, I think we'll let you experience a bit of what our hostess felt.  Maybe someone will come along and release you.  Or…perhaps some of the people stopping by will take advantage of you.  Have fun people!  She's all yours until someone lets her go…  I can be found on my blog.