Review: This Is Who I Am

This Is Who I Am by Cherise Sinclair

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



Finally Sam the sadist receives his mate. Sam first met Linda at an illegal slave auction. Unbeknownst to Linda at the time, Sam is there to help save her. What he does, is make her feel like a wanton slut with disgusting perversions. How does he do this? He makes her cum hard through a whipping. In Linda's world, only sexual deviants would get off on pain.

This story takes a look at those who don't understand how pain can be freeing and more importantly, pleasurable. Ms. Sinclair does a good job of showing the concerns of a person just exploring the lifestyle and wondering why they like pain. Linda's questions are commonly asked and wondered by those just learning how hard impact play can feel so bloody good. What is not common, is Linda's kidnapping and subsequent torture at the hands of human traffickers.

This story is more about Linda readjusting into society after her horrific experience. It's interesting to see how badly humans behave to those who are abused. It's almost as if these worthless excuse for humans revel in malicious frenzy when they can tear down a person who is already fragile. Linda is scorned as a deviant and someone deserving of the abuse because she is interested in sex outside of the norm. The responses of people in this story are pretty accurate, even down to her spoiled children. I can't say I'm surprised because generally youth around that age are judgmental and think in terms of black and white. It's disappointing.

There are many examples in this tale of how those in the BDSM lifestyle are treated. This is a good cautionary story for those who are in the lifestyle to keep things discreet. Otherwise, they will be treated to scorn, ridicule or attacked. One item to note is one of the people at the BDSM club Linda first attended gave an interview about Linda's enjoyment of whipping. This reveal of private information is shameful and completely abhorrent. Unfortunately, this is a very plausible scenario as there are dabblers who frequently violate the code of outing another person. This entire story left me feeling rather sad because of how badly Linda is treated as well as how poorly several in the lifestyle behave.

The BDSM parts are rather light for a main character who is a sadist. Instead of witnessing intense impact play or some sadistic edgeplay, the reader is treated to the sensual side of sadism. This is to be expected as Linda is still trying to find herself as a submissive. She's still trying to reconcile her desires as something acceptable. Sam is helping her slowly acclimate to both pain and submission. In addition, showing her others who are just average people also enjoying a kinky lifestyle.


Ms. Sinclair did pen a good tale with realistic characters in a believable situation. The reason why I still rated this as a three star is because I couldn't feel much for Linda. I didn't connect with either her or Sam. In addition, the BDSM scenes are a little too light for me when it comes to Sam the Sadist. This story left me unaroused. Even the submission didn't show through for me in this one. Linda came across still as a bottom who only wanted on Top, Sam. This kinky tale is recommended as a Gateway to BDSM book.

*provided by BDSM Book Reviews



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